My older sister sent me a picture today. In it, my one year-old niece (whom I affectionately dub Peewee) has ladies undergarments draped around her neck and a smile that has a dash of mischief. Maybe two dashes. Julia said she was folding laundry and Peewee kept taking unmentionables out of the basket and pulling them over her head.
It's one of those adorable pictures that could be stashed away and, in about fifteen years, shown to potential boyfriends. I say could because I don't think we'll do that. I don't think we really should. I would hate for the sweet little girl grinning like an elf in the photo to be embarrassed for her antics, for wanting to wear mommy's clothes and be noticed. I want her to look back at the photo, if she ever sees it, through the eyes of those who love her and were enthralled by the cute, and goofy things she did.
I love that Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." I think its very hard sometimes to forget whose watching or worry about what they'll think. It stifles our joy, our willingness to be goofy just for fun and to smile fully as we enjoy something just because.
I know there's a lot of times I'd like to play and I stop myself. Being naturally ungraceful, it's in my public image's best interest to sit out most athletic events. But how amazing to be free of that. To live in a single moment, unwary of the perception of this earth as I play in the presence of my God. I think in heaven we'll play dress up and turn cartwheels. We'll worry not at all about looking suave and instead be caught up determining exactly how much joy a single moment can hold.
Thank you, God, for childhood. For nieces and their smiles, for your affinity for the childlike, and that however old I may become, I can come to you undignified and know you'll smile.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Ensconced in heaven itself
I have a spot on the futon (read: poor girls' couch) that has a table at the elbow to put a cup of cocoa on. I prop my feet on the coffee table and read. It's a lovely way to pass a Saturday morning or any afternoon, as evidenced by the fact that it is six thirty now and I have moved for the first time in a couple hours. I do love to read.
Now, while I love the apartment I live in, I hold no illusions about the quality of craftsmanship involved in its construction. When you get within six inches of the windowpanes, you feel the air temperature drop by at least ten degrees, same with the door. So, it takes some work for our shoddy heater to raise the temperature to seventy. Today I had to nudge it up several times until it reached seventy six to make that happen. This is not a big deal, other than I had to set down my book, painfully wrenching my mind and imagination from the story that entwined them.
This would not have been the case if I'd gone to my room, instead of the thermostat, and retrieved my down blanket when I first grew cold. There is NOTHING like a down blanket. The way it is infinitely soft, and almost instantly warms you. The way its soft weight seems not just to trap warmth but to generate it. More than once I have stayed curled up for longer than I meant to just to avoid leaving the nest of a down. I envy ducks, they must be so comfortable with down against their skin.
It gives a whole new meaning to Psalm 61, I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. If just a blanket can feel so nice, what of the gentle embrace of my God? I long to curl up in the downy safety of shelter of His wing, nestled close by His side, warm, dry, safe.
Now, while I love the apartment I live in, I hold no illusions about the quality of craftsmanship involved in its construction. When you get within six inches of the windowpanes, you feel the air temperature drop by at least ten degrees, same with the door. So, it takes some work for our shoddy heater to raise the temperature to seventy. Today I had to nudge it up several times until it reached seventy six to make that happen. This is not a big deal, other than I had to set down my book, painfully wrenching my mind and imagination from the story that entwined them.
This would not have been the case if I'd gone to my room, instead of the thermostat, and retrieved my down blanket when I first grew cold. There is NOTHING like a down blanket. The way it is infinitely soft, and almost instantly warms you. The way its soft weight seems not just to trap warmth but to generate it. More than once I have stayed curled up for longer than I meant to just to avoid leaving the nest of a down. I envy ducks, they must be so comfortable with down against their skin.
It gives a whole new meaning to Psalm 61, I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. If just a blanket can feel so nice, what of the gentle embrace of my God? I long to curl up in the downy safety of shelter of His wing, nestled close by His side, warm, dry, safe.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Connected
I have been banished from my apartment tonight, but I don't mind. My roommate is having small group and I fully approve. So, for the next two hours, I will sip peppermint tea from a paper cup and read a book I bought today. And, as is evident, use the Internet to write, and then perhaps order some more books from Amazon... (who am I kidding, there's no perhaps about it. Super Saver shipping, here I come!)
Was it only a matter of years ago that all this was impossible? That I would have been tethered by cord that attached the Internet to my computer? And not just the cord either; have you ever tried to haul a desktop to your local coffee shop? Not a fun prospect.
I am so grateful for wi-fi. I suffer from chronic cabin fever and if I had to stay at home to use my computer (or sit in a terminal in some Internet cafe...lame) I would go stir crazy. Or give up on using computers, one of the two. But no, I can drop my attache over my shoulder and set up shop with the world at my fingertips as I enjoy the semi-public atmosphere of my local book shop. And then, when I get tired of that scene (I cite the cabin fever here...in severe cases one can have an attack in public places if any one location is dwelt in too long) I can relocate to a coffee house and pick up where I left off.
I would never have survived back in the day where one could expect to be born at home, be raised at home, and then spend one's life cleaning and maintaining the home. If I sometimes wonder if God's plan for my life has gotten lost under a two-week old coffee cup shoved in the corner of His desk, I never worry that He sent me in the wrong era. I don't profess to be a patient person, and though I pray daily to be more so, I think God knew I would do best in the age of instant Internet access.
So, thank you God for this modern age in which I am blessed to live, the Internet which I take often for granted, and the books I am about to use it to purchase.
Was it only a matter of years ago that all this was impossible? That I would have been tethered by cord that attached the Internet to my computer? And not just the cord either; have you ever tried to haul a desktop to your local coffee shop? Not a fun prospect.
I am so grateful for wi-fi. I suffer from chronic cabin fever and if I had to stay at home to use my computer (or sit in a terminal in some Internet cafe...lame) I would go stir crazy. Or give up on using computers, one of the two. But no, I can drop my attache over my shoulder and set up shop with the world at my fingertips as I enjoy the semi-public atmosphere of my local book shop. And then, when I get tired of that scene (I cite the cabin fever here...in severe cases one can have an attack in public places if any one location is dwelt in too long) I can relocate to a coffee house and pick up where I left off.
I would never have survived back in the day where one could expect to be born at home, be raised at home, and then spend one's life cleaning and maintaining the home. If I sometimes wonder if God's plan for my life has gotten lost under a two-week old coffee cup shoved in the corner of His desk, I never worry that He sent me in the wrong era. I don't profess to be a patient person, and though I pray daily to be more so, I think God knew I would do best in the age of instant Internet access.
So, thank you God for this modern age in which I am blessed to live, the Internet which I take often for granted, and the books I am about to use it to purchase.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Bless me.
My roommate asked me this morning if I'm coming down with something. Not coming down so much as it has me in a sleeper hold and shows no sign of letting up any time soon. Right now I'm that girl whose hand you don't want to shake because there's a small nation, nay a whole world of germs, holding their own Olympics right there on the surface of my palm.
Ew.
So today I'm grateful for modern medicine. As soon as I can work up the gumption to go to Kroger, I'm going to smother those symptoms like Aunt Donna after a long absence. Only instead of repeated cheek pinches, my drugs herald death! Take that athletic germs.
My nose can hardly wait, nor can the rest of me for that matter.
It's crazy to think about the complexity of the human body and how almost any malady can be dealt with by taking a little pill. I know just enough about science to realize how much I don't know, and I'm glad that God made really smart people who have figured out ways to make life more comfortable. I am amazed by the way our bodies themselves regenerate and compensate and fight back against infections and illnesses. It's something that happens without conscious thought or design. I sneeze to remove germs, (though, obviously to no great affect this time around), and my body tells me when its time to just go lay down and let the natural processes do their work while I sleep. I cough to remove...well, you get the picture.
All that leads me to say, thank you God for the wonderful ways the human body functions and that it's intentional. Thank you for knitting me together in my mother's womb. And thank you, when my army of antibodies and white blood cells and whatnot are losing the battle, there's a whole grocery store aisle of stuff to aide the good guys.
Ew.
So today I'm grateful for modern medicine. As soon as I can work up the gumption to go to Kroger, I'm going to smother those symptoms like Aunt Donna after a long absence. Only instead of repeated cheek pinches, my drugs herald death! Take that athletic germs.
My nose can hardly wait, nor can the rest of me for that matter.
It's crazy to think about the complexity of the human body and how almost any malady can be dealt with by taking a little pill. I know just enough about science to realize how much I don't know, and I'm glad that God made really smart people who have figured out ways to make life more comfortable. I am amazed by the way our bodies themselves regenerate and compensate and fight back against infections and illnesses. It's something that happens without conscious thought or design. I sneeze to remove germs, (though, obviously to no great affect this time around), and my body tells me when its time to just go lay down and let the natural processes do their work while I sleep. I cough to remove...well, you get the picture.
All that leads me to say, thank you God for the wonderful ways the human body functions and that it's intentional. Thank you for knitting me together in my mother's womb. And thank you, when my army of antibodies and white blood cells and whatnot are losing the battle, there's a whole grocery store aisle of stuff to aide the good guys.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Cheers!
It was one of those days when it seems the relevant world wakes up and thinks to itself "Hmm, today would be a good day to sit on Kimberly's head." I am glad that, in Christ, I am more than a conqueror (it's in the Bible somewhere...).
But...
Today I am grateful for red wine. Ahh. When I can't find rose colored glasses, the occasional glass of rose colored liquid is mighty fine. Note, to my fundamentalist brethren and sistren, I do not condone, or partake in, drunkenness. But a mellowing glass of the fruit of the vine (which our Lord did actually make out of water as His first miracle) is heavenly.
I mean, it's lovely to look at. The rich, mysterious color almost seems purple until you hold it to the light and its vibrant scarlet is revealed. And the smell....I have never detected fig or starfruit or chocolate in a glass as my more sophisticated counterparts undoubtedly have. But the full aroma, both sweet and biting satisfies almost as much as the flavor. Almost. When a strong, yet gentle, zinfandel caresses your tongue, you come to know the meaning of balance, and why it is so much better than extremes. Not too sweet, not too strong, but definitely present and with an impression that lasts long after the sip is gone.
God, thank you for wine and how something that is thousands of years old can bring a new perspective of peace, levity, and culture to a snowy Friday afternoon.
But...
Today I am grateful for red wine. Ahh. When I can't find rose colored glasses, the occasional glass of rose colored liquid is mighty fine. Note, to my fundamentalist brethren and sistren, I do not condone, or partake in, drunkenness. But a mellowing glass of the fruit of the vine (which our Lord did actually make out of water as His first miracle) is heavenly.
I mean, it's lovely to look at. The rich, mysterious color almost seems purple until you hold it to the light and its vibrant scarlet is revealed. And the smell....I have never detected fig or starfruit or chocolate in a glass as my more sophisticated counterparts undoubtedly have. But the full aroma, both sweet and biting satisfies almost as much as the flavor. Almost. When a strong, yet gentle, zinfandel caresses your tongue, you come to know the meaning of balance, and why it is so much better than extremes. Not too sweet, not too strong, but definitely present and with an impression that lasts long after the sip is gone.
God, thank you for wine and how something that is thousands of years old can bring a new perspective of peace, levity, and culture to a snowy Friday afternoon.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Happiness by the ounce
I think I've mentioned before my affinity for caffeine. Of course, she's best in her native coffee, but can't be over appreciated in any form. Well, yesterday I was teaching a group of peers a new information system and I was pretty wiped. So, naturally, I wanted something sweet and bubbly to boost my energy. But....eek....no vending machine.
Now, I totally could have dealt with it. There was a water fountain. But - and here comes the sweetness of blessings - although I could have gone without and been fine, I didn't have to! My boss had a spare diet soda in his car that he let me have. Yay! And then, when he wanted more soda, since I'd downed his last one, he made a run to the Rite-Aid. I asked him to bring me a diet Coke and poked around my purse for a dollar. Well, he's a southern gent, so he wouldn't take my dollar and then he came back with two diet Cokes for me! They were that slightly smaller size (I don't know why they do that...I was good with the 20 ouncers) so he just got me two instead of one. I would have been pleased with just the one, but out of nowhere, my blessing was doubled.
Yes, I do realized I'm talking about artificially flavored bubble water. But the point was not just the soda. It was that someone would be generous when they had absolutely no obligation. I wouldn't have known he had a spare soda if he didn't say anything. And then, have that blessing doubled, nay, tripled out of kindness.
It made me want to be generous to someone who I have no obligation to and who has no obligation to me. It made me want to give freely so that another soul could feel lighter just because. So, I'm grateful for kind people and soda and tomorrow will inentionally look for a way to be a blessing to someone else. Just because.
Now, I totally could have dealt with it. There was a water fountain. But - and here comes the sweetness of blessings - although I could have gone without and been fine, I didn't have to! My boss had a spare diet soda in his car that he let me have. Yay! And then, when he wanted more soda, since I'd downed his last one, he made a run to the Rite-Aid. I asked him to bring me a diet Coke and poked around my purse for a dollar. Well, he's a southern gent, so he wouldn't take my dollar and then he came back with two diet Cokes for me! They were that slightly smaller size (I don't know why they do that...I was good with the 20 ouncers) so he just got me two instead of one. I would have been pleased with just the one, but out of nowhere, my blessing was doubled.
Yes, I do realized I'm talking about artificially flavored bubble water. But the point was not just the soda. It was that someone would be generous when they had absolutely no obligation. I wouldn't have known he had a spare soda if he didn't say anything. And then, have that blessing doubled, nay, tripled out of kindness.
It made me want to be generous to someone who I have no obligation to and who has no obligation to me. It made me want to give freely so that another soul could feel lighter just because. So, I'm grateful for kind people and soda and tomorrow will inentionally look for a way to be a blessing to someone else. Just because.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Page turner?
I love not so much to travel as to be in other places. I don't have a fabulous car (no offense to my Impala, but really...) and I would never have survived the covered wagon days. But after four hours on the road today I rolled into Charlotte, NC and....I was disappointed!
Why? Because one thing I do have is a killer book on CD. Brilliant. Whoever originally thought, "wouldn't it be nice to be able to read without having to...read?" I thank you. I'm about halfway through a gripping tale of intrigue that had me cruising for a lunch spot just to hear what happened next.
I am passionate about stories and I'm sure I'll be grateful for them repeatedly. But for a girl who thinks the motto "Life is the journey, not the destination" is something people say just to fill the boring semi-quiet after too many hours of wheel-on-pavement, books on CD make all the difference in the world. Then my mind can travel at the same time I do (while always maintaining appropriate awareness of my vehicle and its direction of travel...ahem.)
Even now, as I watch the artistic genius of Food Network competitors turning chocolate into the images of famous landmarks - in case it didn't look good enough just sitting in bar format - I am mulling over the story and looking forward to Friday's stint home, when hopefully I'll finish the novel and be spared a Saturday morning of conjured errands, just so I can drive.
Thank you, God, for brilliant stories you give your people to tell, and for strokes of genius like the dramatic reading of a good book on CD. Thank you for cars that make it possible to travel hundreds of miles in mere hours....and thank you that I don't have to do that too often.
Why? Because one thing I do have is a killer book on CD. Brilliant. Whoever originally thought, "wouldn't it be nice to be able to read without having to...read?" I thank you. I'm about halfway through a gripping tale of intrigue that had me cruising for a lunch spot just to hear what happened next.
I am passionate about stories and I'm sure I'll be grateful for them repeatedly. But for a girl who thinks the motto "Life is the journey, not the destination" is something people say just to fill the boring semi-quiet after too many hours of wheel-on-pavement, books on CD make all the difference in the world. Then my mind can travel at the same time I do (while always maintaining appropriate awareness of my vehicle and its direction of travel...ahem.)
Even now, as I watch the artistic genius of Food Network competitors turning chocolate into the images of famous landmarks - in case it didn't look good enough just sitting in bar format - I am mulling over the story and looking forward to Friday's stint home, when hopefully I'll finish the novel and be spared a Saturday morning of conjured errands, just so I can drive.
Thank you, God, for brilliant stories you give your people to tell, and for strokes of genius like the dramatic reading of a good book on CD. Thank you for cars that make it possible to travel hundreds of miles in mere hours....and thank you that I don't have to do that too often.
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