Friday, July 5, 2013

Independence Day

To celebrate Independence Day, I watched...Independence Day: the rousing 1996 classic in which Will Smith and Bill Pullman pull our nation, nay our world, up by it's alien-zapped bootstraps and fight back, saving all mankind.  I admit, it made me proud to be an American. And human.

Not only did the movie engage my sense of patriotism, adventure, and butt-kickingness, but it reminded me of several timeless truths.

- When alien spaceships show up, it is bad to be in big cities.

- If your team is engaging the enemy, make sure at least one of you is an attractive, don't-take-no-for-an-answer rule breaker who will stop at nothing to save the planet. They're probably the hero, which means they can't die, so it's a good idea to stay near them.

- If your team is engaging the enemy, don't be the funny, team-building one in the group or you're toast.

- Always look to the middle distance when saying something profound.

- If the world seems to be coming to an end, be prepared to learn a moral lesson.

- Aliens have the same basic physical structure as people and are smarter than us. And ugly.

- The best way to unite a group is to provide a common enemy, so all the peoples of the world will agree to put aside two millenia of differences and bomb the snot out of the space invaders. Go world!

- If you have a deep dark secret, or a great fear, you will have to face it. But when you finally do, it means the invasion is almost over and victory is just around the corner.

- It doesn't take superior intelligence or superior technology to win. It takes the triumph of the human spirit. Gets 'em every time.

I'm truly grateful the great men who, avoiding the selfish desire to make themselves kings, gave birth to this great nation (she said, looking off into the middle distance.) And that I live in a small town.

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