I recently heard about this new kind of noodle called Shirataki that is super low calorie. I mean, super low. You can have pasta alfredo without the guilt, said recipe touted. 100 calories for a serving of creamy pasta!
Now, you would think in my 29 years I would have firmly rooted in my head that, with the massive and glorious exception of God's grace, you just ain't gettin' something for nothing on this planet.
But I haven't.
So, Dirk the Blue Impala and I scooted over to Whole Foods and bought a little baggy of fat white noodles in a grayish liquid. Hmm.
My suspicions grew when the instruction on the back of the bag included the phrase, "Rinse well to remove the authentic smell." Smells are not supposed to be authentic. At least not in this context.
But the nail in my wishful bubble was the texture. Have you ever tried to eat an intestinal worm? I think I have now. No amount of sauce, light or otherwise, can make chewing on a slimy rubberband a good option. No wonder they're low calorie. You eat one, and your appetite magically disappears!
As I tried to chew without thinking, I was reminded of how grateful I am for carbs. I know they get a horrible rap in our high-protein culture, but when a girl wants pasta, nothing--and I do mean nothing-- else can fit the bill. On cold rainy days, or when I'm crazy tired, tofu is not the answer. A little something sweet and carby can't be beat. I mean, heck, grains prop up the whole food pyramid. Without them, it'd just be, well, a shorter pyramid.
God, who made wheat, gluten, and all the ingredients for alfredo sauce...thank you. You are good, indeed.