Monday, August 30, 2010

Me, God and the tissue vs. the spider and the centipede

If there is one thing I am not grateful for, it is bugs. Pretty much anything with more than four legs is on the bad list.

In the past, I have been known to screech and hop on something or duck--depending on whether or not the beast is winged--and wait while the nearest rescuer handles the situation. I had one notable confrontation with a cockroach paratrooper that tried to ambush me from above. He won the battle, but God and my roommate's shoe won the war.

Well, now I live all by myself. Or so I thought.

Three times in the past week, I have been ambushed in my apartment. A wasp has taken up residence in my kitchen cabinet. Fine. I'll buy my own box of crystal lite.

The other two times have caught me in a rather vulnerable position in the bathroom.

Which is why I'm grateful for bathroom tissue (Toilet paper just sounds declasse.) It is soft enough and thick enough that you don't have to get too close to an insect as you exterminate, and it muffles any tiny pleas for help. Then, you just dump it in the porcelain bowl, flush, and voila. It is as if a multi-legged invader never existed.

This is just one example of how God provides for us in the moment. Go with me here. If anyone else had been in the apartment, I would have delegated the distasteful task of extermination. But no one was. And, while I wouldn't fancy coming upon an insect anywhere, God timed the little nasties to cross my path when my trusty, two-ply weapon was at hand. What would have happened if, say, I'd found a creature...okay, this path is making my skin crawl, so I won't imagine all the less convenient places to find bugs, but you get the idea. I don't keep bathroom tissue anywhere but the bathroom, so I was ideally armed for battle.

And for the wasp, well, I'm still praying it dies soon, but how convenient that it would make its way into a cupboard before buzzing loud enough for me to hear. If it had buzzed before then, I wouldn't have thought to lure it into a confined space, I would have just waited outside with the doors open and a spray bottle of tile cleaner until it left. Seriously.

So, do I like bugs? No. I wish I didn't have to deal with them ever. But since bugs happen in life, I'm glad God is there with me when they do and that He gives me not just the spiritual fortitude to rise up and conquer, but the practical tools as well. David had his stones, I've got my tissue. God is on our side and we are more than conquerors!


  1. Very funny, even so since I had bug duty while I was with you.

  2. when you come back you can reclaim your post;-)