Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Think dry thoughts

Today my job took me to the back woods of North Arkansas. I was riding shotgun with a very nice safety guy as we visited jobsites. And since the back woods are rather expansive, it took all day.

It was actually super fun. I got a coffee mug out of the deal, was offered a puppy, and, as one is apt to do in this particular setting, I heard some memorable things. The top three are as follows.

Number three: "Fritzy saw a black bear a bit ago."
And, I'm getting back in the car.

Number two: "Been busier'n a cat coverin' up poop."
My goal is to use this phrase before the week is over.

And the number one phrase (drumroll): "I got to walk out here and pee. I wish it was that easy for you."
As I assured the sincere gentleman that I was good for a while, I found myself profoundly and unexpectedly grateful for common sense. You see, I can put back a soda in under five minutes without trying. But, during lunch, that practical voice in the back of my head realized that ladies' rooms are rather uncommon in the back woods. You'd sooner find a black bear. And don't get me started on toilet paper and hand sanitizer.
Since I wanted to limit the number of things I have in common with cats, I paced my consumption and made it safely back to civilization before nature called.
Thank you, Jesus, for toilet paper, flushing toilets, no black bear sightings, and common sense. All my love.

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