I have, in my 30 years, learned a lot of lessons. Some are easy, some are hard.
Easy lesson: raspberry sorbet is tasty.
Hard lesson: "free" cats are expensive.
Easy lesson: Macs are great computers.
Hard lesson: always, always, always back up your computer.
Easy lesson: Psych is a hysterically funny TV show.
Hard lesson: chai tea may sound perfect at 9 pm, but it is, in fact, caffeinated, and is not a good idea.
Well recently I've learned a spiritual lesson, and unlike many of it's kind it fell into the easy category.
It all started about a week or two ago. I was going about my normal business, trying to the right thing and failing more than I'd like. Well, as usual I'd pray and ask for forgiveness. Normally, I will do this at least two or three times, whenever it came to mind, and the next day for good measure, so I could consider I'd paid my dues. Do I believe in the absolute grace of God? Yes.
But it still felt like maybe I ought to apologize again.
Well, over the last two weeks, when I'd find myself messing up, I'd prayerfully apologize, and the normal voice of self-recrimination just....didn't speak up. It has been so peaceful and is perhaps the first time I've truly given God's grace and Jesus' sacrifice its due. It wasn't a fast lesson--I'm celebrating twenty-five years in the family--but it came gently and with a strength of conviction that I didn't have any work left to convince myself or conform.
It just makes me so grateful for the grace of God and that all wrath, all guilt, all responsibility for ALL sin has been dealt with once and totally by Jesus. Man, that is a beautiful, peace-giving truth.
Thank you, dearest Jesus, my heart, my soul, my cherished love. You are glorious and I'm always overjoyed when I get to know yo a little bit more. All my love.