Then, in a moment a gate opens and it is David versus Goliath, if Goliath's bulk was more horizontal than vertical and if David had a rope instead of a sling.
That's right, folks. I'm talking about the PBR (Professional Bull Riders, for those who didn't already know. No need to raise your hands.) This weekend the world's toughest riders will take on the world's most vicious Animal Athletes. And I am going to be there to see it all.
Things I love about the PBR:
- It is great for ADD people because you only have to pay attention for 8 seconds at a time.
- It's a subculture full of hardcore fans.
- Getting to say names like Valdiron and Guillerme and Cody and Cody and Cody.
- Getting koozies. Where else do you get koozies anymore?
- The tangible excitement of seeing someone put their life on the line for glory. And money. But mostly glory.
- I can wear my cowboy boots and hat (yes, I have a cowboy hat)
- In comparison to the riders, I feel tall.
- Praying in an arena before a public event.
- That one bull who knows how the game is played, and after he's dumped his rider in the dust, decides to take on the roper and his horse, and maybe a few bull fighters before leaving the arena.
- That one bull who just stands in the gate for a minute because he missed his queue
- USA spelled out in fire on the arena floor.
If you've never been to the PBR, well, you just are missing out. But here are some pictures to give you a taste.
Valdiron showing...I think this is Chicken on a Chain...whose boss.
Oh, Nashville. Bless your heart.
This is when you scream and hoot and holler for your favorite rider as they run out of the mist and stand, feet shoulder width apart, wearing a look of grim determination.
Gotta wear your duds.
Find another venue that provides a ginormous inflatable whiskey bottle. Go ahead. I dare you.
J. B. Mauney, who will be riding this weekend and is doing quite well. We, like, practically know him.
This army dude had just repelled from the rafters to the ground. U.S.A! U.S.A!
See? So, next year, you be watching for your chance to take part in the amazingness.
I'm soooo grateful that back in the day, long ago, one cowboy said to another, "That thur bull is meaner 'n' a snake on a cold day, ain't he, Herb? Hey, betchoo cain't ride 'im for for a minute."
"Dadgum, Bubba, my momma ain't raised no eedjit. Course I ain't gonna try and ride Ol' Nailbender for a minute. But I betchoo I can go eight seconds."